100 Club November Draw

£50 no. 64 Vicky Hall
£40 no. 19 Ian Hughes
£30 no. 63 Jenny Medland
£15 no. 34 Duncan Parks
£10 no. 27 John Rees

Many thanks for your support.  Try and recruit a friend for next month's draw !

Steve Griffith (Promoter)

garw 'dolig

A guide to Musical Terms - (part 3)

Perfect Pitch: A wet muddy rugby/hockey field
Portamento: A foreign country you've always wanted to visit.
Quartet: a good singer, a bad singer, an ex-singer, and someone who hates singers, all getting together to complain about composers.
Relative Major: A cousin in the Army.
Ritard: There's one in every music group.
Scale: device for weighing the Alto section.
Score: Leaving with a cute chick.
Tonic: Medicinal liquid to be consumed before, during, or after a performance - usually with gin.
(Diatonic: This is what happens to some musicians.)
 (SuperTonic - Schweppes)
Transposition: The act of moving the pitch of a piece of music that is too low for the basses to a point where it is too high for everyone else.
Transpositions: Men who wear dresses.
Trill: The musical equivalent of an epileptic seizure.
Triplet: One of three children, born to one mother very closely in time. If a composer uses a lot of triplets he has probably been taking a fertility drug.
Trotto: an early Italian form of Montezuma's Revenge.
Vibrato: Used by singers to hide the fact that they are on the wrong pitch.
Virtuoso: A musician with very high morals.

Conductors Handbook (1)

Concert - Llanferres, nr Mold

Y Neuadd Bentref/ Village Hall, Llanferres Friday November 16th at 7pm / Nos Wener Tachwedd 16eg 7yh

CÔR MEIBION CAERWYS MALE VOICE CHOIR

with/efo:

Côr Ysgol Bro Famau Choir

Xander Croft –Violin

Sioned Foulkes –Mezzo-Soprano

Helen Parsons –Soprano

Tickets £5 Under 16s £2.50 / Tocynnau £5 O dan 16oed £2.50

Refreshments Provided / yn cynnwys lluniaeth

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A guide to Musical Terms - (part 2)

   Compound Metre: A place to park your car that requires more than one coin.
    Duple Metre: This requires two coins to park.
    Triple Metre: Only rich people should park by these.
    Metre Signature: The name of the traffic warden who writes you a ticket when you don't put enough coins in a metre.
    Conductor: A musician who is adept at following many people at the same time.
    Counterpoint: A favorite device of many Baroque composers, all of whom are dead, though no direct connection between these two facts has been established. Still taught in many schools, as a form of punishment.
    Countertenor: A singing waiter.
    Crescendo: A reminder to the performer that they have been performing too loudly.
    Discord: Not to be confused with Datcord.
    Dominant: An adjective used to describe the voice of someone who sings off key.
    Duet::When you and the dog use the same tree
    Duration: Can be used to describe how long a music director can exercise self-control.
    English Horn: Neither English nor a horn, not to be confused with the French Horn, which is German.
    Espresso: Drink for posh sopranos during intervals
    Espressivo: Close eyes and sway.
    Fermata: A brand of girdle made especially for opera singers.
    Flat: This is what happens to a tonic if it sits too long in the open air.
    Flute: A sophisticated pea shooter with a range of up to 500 yards, blown sideways to confuse the enemy.
    Form:
        The shape of a composition.
        The shape of the musician playing the composition.
        The piecce of paper to be filled out in triplicate in order to get enough money from the Arts Council to play the composition.
    French Horn: your wife says you smell like a cheap one when you come in at 4 a.m.
    Glissando:
        The musical equivalent of slipping on a banana peel.
        A technique adopted by male singers for difficult jumps.
    Harmonic Minor: A good music student.
    Harmony: The coinage used by people with accents (see part 1 for definition of accent).
    Heroic Tenor: A singer who gets by on sheer nerve and tight clothing.
    Intonation: singing through one's nose. Considered highly desirable in the Middle Ages.
    Lamentoso: With handkerchiefs.
    Largo: A type of German Beer - Handel's Largo is the most famous brand
    Malto: A type of Italian Beer
    Metronome: a city-dwelling dwarf
.   Modulation: “Everything is good in modulation.”

MD Rules

If you want to get ahead.......

A guide to Musical Terms - (part 1)

Musical terms are written in Italian, this is to show how clever composers are. The English, of course, ignore them, believing the whole world should speak English only. The Welsh ignore anything that hasn't got Doh Me Soh Ray Doh in it somewhere, the Irish prefer to read through glasses (mainly of Guinness, Smithwicks or Carlsberg) and the only Italian the Scots know is cornetto.
   

•     Accent: An unusual manner of pronunciation, eg: “Calm down, yiz all sung dat real good!”
•     Accidentals: Wrong notes.
•     Ad Libitum: A premiere.
•     Agitato: A conductors state of mind when a Bass hits the wrong/right note in the middle of a piece.
•     Agnes Dei: A woman composer famous for her church music.
• Angus Dei: To play with a God like beefy tone
•     Altered Chord: A sound that has been spayed.
•     Attaca: “Fire at will!”
•     Bar Line: A gathering of people, usually among which may be found a number of singers.
•     Beat: What Conductors do with their sticks. The down beat is performed on the top of the head, while the up beat is struck under the chin.
•     Bravo: Literally, How bold! or What nerve! This is a spontaneous expression of appreciation on the part of the concert goer after a particularly trying performance.
•     Breve: The way a sustained note sounds when a tenor runs out of wind.
•     Cadence:
•         The short nickname of a rock group whose full name is Cadence Clearwater Revival.
•         When everybody hopes you’re going to stop, but you don’t.
•         (Final Cadence: when they FORCE you to stop.)
•     Chord: Usually spelled with an “s” on the end, means a particular type of pants, eg: “He wears chords.”
•     Chromatic Scale: An instrument for weighing that indicates half-pounds.
•     Clef:
•         If someone cannot sing, he may have an affliction of the palate, called a clef.
•         Something to jump from if you can’t sing and you have to teach a Sunday school.
•     Coloratura Soprano: A singer who has great trouble finding the proper note, but who has a wild time hunting for it.

New Rules for Singing with the Choir

1   Everyone should sing the same piece.

 2   Take your time turning pages.

 3   The right note at the wrong time is the wrong note.

 4   The wrong note at the right time is still a wrong note.

 5   A wrong note sung timidly is still a wrong note.

 6   A wrong note sung with authority is an interpretation.

 7   A true interpretation is made when none note of the original notes remain.

 8   If you happen to sing a wrong note, give a nasty look to one of your neighbors.

 9   If everyone gets lost except you, follow those who get lost.

10   If a passage is difficult, slow it down. If it is easy, speed it up. Everything will work itself out in the end.

11   Markings for slurs, dynamics, ornaments and breathing should be ignored. They are only there to make the score look good.

 12  When everyone else has finished singing, you should not sing any notes you may still have left.