A guide to Musical Terms - (part 2)

   Compound Metre: A place to park your car that requires more than one coin.
    Duple Metre: This requires two coins to park.
    Triple Metre: Only rich people should park by these.
    Metre Signature: The name of the traffic warden who writes you a ticket when you don't put enough coins in a metre.
    Conductor: A musician who is adept at following many people at the same time.
    Counterpoint: A favorite device of many Baroque composers, all of whom are dead, though no direct connection between these two facts has been established. Still taught in many schools, as a form of punishment.
    Countertenor: A singing waiter.
    Crescendo: A reminder to the performer that they have been performing too loudly.
    Discord: Not to be confused with Datcord.
    Dominant: An adjective used to describe the voice of someone who sings off key.
    Duet::When you and the dog use the same tree
    Duration: Can be used to describe how long a music director can exercise self-control.
    English Horn: Neither English nor a horn, not to be confused with the French Horn, which is German.
    Espresso: Drink for posh sopranos during intervals
    Espressivo: Close eyes and sway.
    Fermata: A brand of girdle made especially for opera singers.
    Flat: This is what happens to a tonic if it sits too long in the open air.
    Flute: A sophisticated pea shooter with a range of up to 500 yards, blown sideways to confuse the enemy.
    Form:
        The shape of a composition.
        The shape of the musician playing the composition.
        The piecce of paper to be filled out in triplicate in order to get enough money from the Arts Council to play the composition.
    French Horn: your wife says you smell like a cheap one when you come in at 4 a.m.
    Glissando:
        The musical equivalent of slipping on a banana peel.
        A technique adopted by male singers for difficult jumps.
    Harmonic Minor: A good music student.
    Harmony: The coinage used by people with accents (see part 1 for definition of accent).
    Heroic Tenor: A singer who gets by on sheer nerve and tight clothing.
    Intonation: singing through one's nose. Considered highly desirable in the Middle Ages.
    Lamentoso: With handkerchiefs.
    Largo: A type of German Beer - Handel's Largo is the most famous brand
    Malto: A type of Italian Beer
    Metronome: a city-dwelling dwarf
.   Modulation: “Everything is good in modulation.”